Of the Gattuso Varietal

When I moved to Twin Falls, Idaho, I knew I was moving to a considerably more conservative state. I'm ok with that, though I am tempted to purchase one of those "Blue Girl in a Red State" bumper stickers, even if I'd never put it on my car - since I don't do bumper stickers as a rule.

Since I moved here last March, I've met more die-hard Republicans than you can shake a stick at. And that's cool. Every person is entitled to believe what they want to believe. I begrudge no one that. But I've also encountered a considerable amount of those stuck in, well, less than progressive states of mind.

I've been slow to get back on the eye doctor bandwagon, but I finally did a few weeks before Christmas. The tech who did all of my typical, preliminary testing was very nice, very professional, and extremely capable from what I inferred. As her last act, she dialated my eyes and left me in the dark room so my vision could blur. So much fun. While I waited for the doctor, I saw her escort a whiskery old gentleman into the room diagonally across from me (because apparently there's no need for patient privacy so why close doors?). They made small talk for a few minutes, then she procured a pair of tweezers and asked him to explain what was going on with his right eyelid. Now, I'm not at all sure what was going on with this eyelid... perhaps a pustule, a skin flap, an ingrown eyelash? But as soon as he saw the tool in her hands he barked out, "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a woman doing this to my eye." That's it. I don't know much else in the story, and the tech graciously skimmed over the comment, but I *tried* to stare daggers at the man. I took it upon myself to be offended on her behalf. Because, hello guy, you're an ass. Sexism, it would appear, is alive and well in this town.

Granted, I've been exposed to sexism plenty in my day, but generally it's been in a more chauvinistic fashion. Not the good 'ole boys, get-back-in-the-kitchen-where-you-belong type. But apparently the state of potatoes harbors a few of the most insulting types.

This morning I received quite the affront to women, wrapped up neatly in my inbox. In what was very clearly a spam email blast, a now ex-potential client went on a rant against women in positions of leadership, prompted in part by Michele Bachmann's departure from the Presidential race (something I'm grateful for, but for ENTIRELY different reasons). To be clear, this rant was not directed at me, but I don't think I need to explain why including a woman on the distribution list for a rant that clearly states how they are inferior in his opinion is... stupid. I won't repeat it in its entirety, but here are a few gems. Grammar has not been altered:

- "women just are not equipped or have the executive skills sets to lead or be in charge of ANYTHING. Whether its President of the Union Yankee States, being executive in an office, or preytell in charge of a company dealing with important and executive issues and decisions."
- "Men make the rules, men lead and like it or not , man needs in fact its demanded that men are boss, squaw walk in rear."
- "I can see where there is a reason there are more bars in this part of the region than some others, too many women trying to run things sending men to drink."
- "At least the LDS church got that part right, after all, you never heard of the Church’s prophet being a woman have you? Always a MAN at the helm, and justifiably so."

Let me assure you he was 100% sincere. And I was 100% offended.

But - to those who are concerned, this sort of thing doesn't ruin my day. It doesn't make me feel bad about myself or as though I am somehow a victim. Not at all. What it does, however, is sadden me. Deeply, deeply sadden me; that this sort of sentiment is still alive today.

I don't necessarily consider myself a feminist in the stereotypical bra-burning fashion. I sometimes think the feminism movement has gone slightly too far - namely in the harsh criticizing of women who choose to stay at home to raise children or manage a household. In my opinion, feminism is more about understanding that women are equal, and that they should have the same choices as everyone else. If they choose to stay home and be a mom to five children? Amazing. That's incredible. Imagining five children sometimes intimidates and scares me - it's not for the weak. But also, if a woman chooses to pursue a career, wonderful. Power to her. I identify with her. And I don't approve of stay-at-home moms harshly critiquing a woman who's eager to climb the career ladder.

But ultimately, this sort of sentiment... this belief that women aren't as capable as a man.... frankly, it disgusts me. I've seen so many capable women in my lifetime, and we have so many women from the past to thank for many of the wonderful things we enjoy today.

I believe the situation was handled appropriately - ultimately, we tried not to inflame further discussions and were very brief in our responses. But you know what, that saddens me, too. Because while this ex prospective client lost the opportunity to do business with us, he also lost out on a chance to hear opposition to his skewed perception. He's stuck in a long-gone era and he's isolated. Not confronting him more directly meant he lost an opportunity to realize that this thinking is inappropriate and archaic. Who knows whether it would have made a dent on his opinion, but not saying something at all has absolutely zero chance for making said dent.

I don't really know that I have much to add that will further advance equality for women, or be any more powerful than what everyone who's already commented on similar matters has stated, but damnit. This behavior is shameful and I implore you - if you're in the appropriate scenario, confront this backwards thinking.

And of course, I'm curious. What sexist hurdles have you been confronted with?

*Thanks to Sarah Milligan for her suggestion for this post's title.